1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
