Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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