No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
