is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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