I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
