im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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