good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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