I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize