Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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