I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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