I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You are the jesus of drinking
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
