And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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