either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
