he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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