can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
