he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
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Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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