If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
