3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she looked like the before picture.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
