i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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