I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i think my cat just said my name.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
