Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
