Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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