I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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