I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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