that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
