Are we in a gay sports bar?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
