your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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