why didn't you poke me back
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
