I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
