Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
