but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Non-Jews are for practice
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just found puke in my bra..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The power of my boobs compel you
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
