I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
