I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
