i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize