is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
