i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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