im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We are two peas in an std pod
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
