i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
