Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I deserve this hangover.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
