dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Randomize
