Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
handjob tips. give me some.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
