HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
