Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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