I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
