he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
