Small penises have feelings too.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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