I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
