Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
