everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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