So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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