Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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