I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
