just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
