You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize