the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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